Depression & Me Pt 2

Yesterday I was posting about my awareness that there was something wrong. I was to emotional.  I cried to much.  All my teens life I had suffered from depression but I didn'tknow what it was. I was raised in the 60's and 70's. No one talked about depression. Or if they did.  I was considered a drama queen.  If one wanted to seek help there was no help like it is now.  It wasn't an open subject.  It was kept in the closet. So I didn't seek help until 2009.  All those years suffering without getting help.  at the age of 14 my nerves started getting affected.  I would get sever stomach cramps and throw up.  I would just cry and sleep.  So my Mom took me to the doctor and he just gave me valuims to take care of the nerves and so I could function.  I felt aftter almost a year taking valuim that I was getting addicted.  So I started smoking at 15.  That calmed me and I have been smoking since.  I stop the medication.  I didn't start medications for depression until 2006.  Thats the year my brother became very ill and passed away.  The doctor that gave me medication for the depression thought it was a temporary depression because of the passing of my brother.  Until one day in 2009 tot the beginning of 2010.  I seek helped thru 311.  I had had a very bad episode of depress and I didnt want to live anymore.  What i believe what stopped me was that I had my grandson with me and something inside me said don't leave him alone so I call 311.  Since that day I got help and I have been on medications ever since.  I am glad I did that call.

So know that there is always help out there.  You just pick up your phone and call.  If you dont have Insurance its ok. There are places that help you get insurance.   Just don't ever loss hope.  Just hang in there.  To be alive is a good thing.  Im not saying that life is perfect all I am saying there is always a reason to be alve.  And live.