I hate the fact that your natural clock goes haywire. Why do I say this its b cause there are times you are sleeping fine going to bed early. Then your sleep pattern goes haywire, and you find yourself writing on your blog at 2am. Like I am doing right now. I get so sleepy but then I can't sleep until the wee hours of the night.
Now doctors associate this with depression but I don't feel depressed. Actually I have been feeling better for weeks now. Like the calm before the storm. So why can't I sleep, do I have something in the recess part of my mind that is causing me trouble with getting to sleep early.
All I feel is that I have been feeling scared. Like something terrible is going to happen. I know my cousin is very sick and I know he is not going to make it. But that doesn't make depressed , it makes me so sad so very sad. I try not to think about. I have come to terms with it.
I have lost so many loved ones that I think I am becoming numb to it all.
I have been thinking of the positive things in my life. I am expecting a grandson. He is to be born any minute, but he is being hard headed like his mom, my daughter. This is the second baby to be born into our family in a matter of a month and a half. The first one is a girl. My first grand daughter. But it pains me to say that I don't see her much. But I sure am waiting for this baby to be born. Hopefully I will be able to inter act with this baby more since the mother is my daughter.
Well guys in that note I will leave you now. I am going to try and get some sleep since her due day is today Dec 3rd. Well I know she hasn't felt anything. But I was like that also then all of a sudden my water broke. So I need to get some sleep just in case I have to rush out to the hospital.
I will keep you all informed......